


Help Me Faith

by SophieGraceJ



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Desire for love, F/F, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Loneliness, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 04:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieGraceJ/pseuds/SophieGraceJ
Summary: You made a mistake, you tried to fill an emptiness you always knew you had.You tried to fill an emptiness that was impossible to fill, it was hollow and would remain so.Your hunger couldn't be satiated...But Faith could calm it, even just for a little while.





	Help Me Faith

“What the fuck is going on?” 

“Oh god… Jesus Christ. What the fuck. You have to go now … just, just get outta here before your Mom sees! And get her outta here too! Your Mom’s gonna fuckin murder you! I’m serious! She’s gonna be home soon!” 

Shame. Anger. Sickness. Madness. Why did he have to see? Why did he have to walk in? 

“Where’s my money? Please, I haven’t got time for this, I did my job, that’s it, I’m not here to play Mommy. You asked for an hour…” 

You handed her double what she asked for. Maybe because you felt bad she had to hurry and suffer your cousin’s wrath for your own stupidity. 

God you were stupid. 

Still, you didn’t regret it. Your decision. It gave you a taste of something that you desired for so long without knowing for sure. 

But now, now you knew for certain. You weren’t just imagining things like people have said in the past.

It’s just a phase. You’re confused. It’s because you’re lonely. Because you’re a virgin. You’ll get over it. 

Well you never did. And you had a feeling it just got a whole lot worse. 

You had a taste of something beyond yourself, you had a taste of something delicious, something you devoured too quickly. And now your hunger was ravenous. 

Not like it wasn’t before though. 

Not like there was never a piece of you wanting more than what you had, not in the sense that you were greedy, but in the sense that you were deprived of something you needed. 

Then again, now that you had a taste, it came as a surprise to still feel so empty. But desire and love were a sort of emptiness, right? 

No one received their fill of it. You’d never be able to destroy that sense of loneliness and hunger.

Those thoughts only soured the tears trickling down your cheek, some blown away by the soft breeze sweeping in from the open window as you just… drove. 

Drove anywhere you could, following the curve and flow of the road ahead. The swerves, the sharp corners, the flat, the slopes, the hills … You kept your eyes open wide to the world around you, breathing in fresh air. 

It didn’t heal your wounds or satiate your hunger and sadness, no, but it helped you forget for a while. Just a while.

It was funny. 

You hated being alone.

But when you were alone, you could actually be…free. 

There was a freedom in letting go, just not caring, having no rules to follow, no chores, no memories. Just to be. 

The first smile you’ve worn in days creeped up on you, adorned your lips that were beginning to dry from the cold weather.

Humming to nothing, you wiped some of the tears from your face, and flashed a glance to a sign further down the road, that read “Henbane River”. 

You scoffed, “Had no idea…”   
Even when alone you couldn’t help but make smartass comments. Apparently, it was one of your specialties – especially when only in the company of yourself and yourself alone.

But soon enough, even your smartass comments weren’t capable of preventing that constant buzz of silence and shame crowding your head. Drowning your ears. 

Music. 

You really couldn’t care that the radio played Peggie music, you just needed something for distraction. To keep your mind from drifting to a stupid, impulsive mistake you made earlier today, when you thought it was just you… Home alone. 

Inviting that woman over was ridiculous now that you thought back on it. But at the time, it felt important, necessary. 

It felt like a great step in the direction of understanding yourself better.

Instead, it caused you to hate yourself all the more for it…

“And as I grew up, I could never be free”

Headlights on high beam, you tapped your fingers on the side of the door, looking out to the river that travelled side by side with the lane you were cruising on. 

“Cause the shackles I wore can’t be touched or be seen”

Sometimes you would have dreams of falling into that river, sinking to the bottom staring up above. It was peaceful…

“My heart never loved and my soul couldn’t laugh”

You would let the water enrapture you, take you for what you were. After all, if you couldn’t accept yourself for what you were, what else would?

“So much hate in my life, couldn’t make out the path”

Perhaps something that couldn’t judge a being for their desires and nature… Something like nature itself. You lived together, side by side, just like the river and land. 

Maybe you could understand yourself better through Mother nature?

“Help me Faith, Help me Faith” 

Your eyes grew heavy, half-lidded and so tired after so much driving, so much concentration and confusion. The sky was dim and barely visible and you knew it was time to stop. 

And you couldn’t care less that the side of the road was your stop. 

And there it was. 

A church a few kilometers ahead of you, dull lights and a soft choir echoing from the constraints of the religious building.

You ignored it for the most part, turning off the engine of your truck and interrupting the song that seemed to haunt you even after disappearing from existence. 

Help me Faith.

For some reason, the Peggie’s had some of the most beautiful, resonating music you had ever heard. If you weren’t in the right mind, you would have joined long ago even if it was a cult.

Not like you had anything else to do. 

Well, besides sending a text to your Mom, lying again about where you were. 

At a friend’s house … 

You just hoped to god your cousin wouldn’t leave you in the shit, dob you in. 

You had no idea how your Mom would react to such a revelation … and the fact that you had purchased a sex worker. 

That too. Damn you weren’t good at thinking before acting. 

Before you could skim over the swift reply from her, your focus was dragged from the interior of your truck to the field of flowers on the side of the road. There was nothing there, nothing there you could see. And it began to feel a lot like a horror film…

A faint sound, like chimes colliding in a calm breeze…

No. It was pretty, but not chimes. 

It was pretty but sad. 

Crying.

A girl crying…

You winded your window up hesitantly, leaning your head against the cool glass and hoping that it would soon stop.

But no, the soft cries continued to echo from the field of white flowers…

You swapped your gaze from the church to the flowers, contemplating your next move. 

What if there was someone crying? Hurt, alone and needing help?

But what if it was some sort of trap? Maybe even your imagination? 

Again, thinking before acting wasn’t your specialty. And it seemed neither was caution. 

You exited the truck, locking it, grasping the key tight in your hand, arms hugging your abdomen, keeping warm from the biting air. 

“Hey! Is someone there?” 

The crying stopped, you remained on the thin line between the road and the flowers.

It wasn’t just thin, it was invisible and you struggled to know which side you stood on… 

“I-I don’t know what’s going on, but if something’s, if uh- something’s not… okay, um, there’s a church up the road, I could walk you there?” 

There was striking silence amongst the flowers, and you were beginning to feel a shiver down your spine. That was a sign it was time to leave.

But…

Of course.

You were just about to sprint back to your truck, when the sweetest sound blessed your ears. 

“Over here.” 

It was like the white flora could speak, or you were just losing your mind. 

It was only growing darker and so was your vision as you treaded carefully, slowly to the field of blossoming white, it was almost glimmering? 

“Where?”

“Here…” 

A scent of spring, of kindness, of a woman’s perfume, flowers and soap, freshly washed clothes and grass after rain… 

It spilled on your tongue, creeped by your nose, watering your eyes. 

Lights… Tiny lights passed by you, right by you like the stars in the sky… Beautiful.

“Just a little further. You’re doing so well.” 

You smiled, nodding to the sweet voice. So kind and gentle. 

Your legs were weary and clumsy, stuttering with every step you took, flower petals grazing the edge of your finger tips as you played with them. 

Giggles sounding around you, so pure and innocent. 

Your eyes could only see light and green, it wasn’t dark anymore.

You couldn’t feel fear, shame, hate, not even sadness… All just happiness, all just calm, all just… bliss.

“You were so alone… You felt so alone… But you’re not. You’re not alone.”

You followed her voice, steering your way through the long grass and pale green fog… Stars dancing around you like bubbles and pollen…

“I thought I was alone too. But no one is alone… you don’t have to be alone. You just need… Faith.” 

“Faith… I just need Faith.” You whispered, beginning a subtle skip in your walk, waltzing through a garden of beauty. 

No sign of guilt or hate for yourself. 

You almost… could almost say you loved yourself… You loved everything and everyone. 

“I can give you love. Purpose. I can set you free. I will show you the path. You must have Faith.” 

“Yes…Faith. I need faith. I need love, can I have love?” You laughed, forgetting what you were supposed to be doing in the first place… There was music singing somewhere and it itched you to twirl around, feet stumbling every now and then as you bounced on your feet, twirling and twirling, spinning in circles, arms gliding with the breeze.

There it was again. Chimes. 

Not crying. But giggles. Her giggles.

“Faith! Help me Faith! Help me Faith! Shield me from sorrow! From fear of tomorrow!” You sung with all your heart, tears of not sadness but joy falling down your face. 

You spun around and around and around… tumbling to the ground in a heap, laughing and cackling, singing so loud your throat began to hurt… no, there was no such thing as pain here. 

Wherever you were.

You closed your eyes and stretched in the grass, humming to the distant tune … Help me Faith… Help me Faith…

“And when I grew old,” 

Her voice neared you, and you couldn’t help but incline to the source of it. It was… angelic. And so so close.

Still, you kept your eyes shut and hummed to her perfect voice. 

“I was riddled with sin,” 

Her voice closer and closer. You thought it was possible to touch it for a moment as it reached the skin of your face like soft beads of sweat. Ever so light.

“Locked my soul in the dark … never let the light in.” 

Your eyes fluttered open, aware to the smooth hand caressing your hair so dainty and hesitant. Gentle fingers brushing through it, every strand, round nails scraping over your scalp… and there she was. 

An angel.

Your head in her lap… 

“With little time left … I cried what have I done,”

You smiled up at her, watching motionlessly as her other hand traced the shape of your nose, your eye brows, your cheekbones… then your lips. 

You pouted, eyes squinting humorously at her when her hands left your skin all together. 

She laughed, leaning in closer to you, blonde hair tickling the bridge of your nose, your forehead. 

“As I drew my last breath…” She murmured, pink lips brushing over yours like a pleasant dream. 

You sighed, releasing a dose of freedom. You finally felt free… For once in your whole life, you felt like you could be who you were … And you could love who you wanted to love, you could love who you should love…

Yourself.

You raised a hand to her silk-like skin, her jawline, her neck, her lace dress … Your fingers trailed down her arm, until it was impossible to touch anything else. 

“You’re … You’re too perfect to be real…” You whispered into the air, eyes intently focused on her green ones. 

She smiled… sadly. 

“No. I’m not perfect, no one is.” She said softly, pushing you up from her lap, guiding you to sit on your own bottom, hair clouding your face for a while, before her fingers went to work, tucking each strand behind your ears.

“I know. Maybe I’m just a perfectionist or something…” You laughed, fondling the grass by your feet. 

She tilted her neck, regarding you for a brief time… and you did the same. Studying her for a moment. 

“Who are you?” 

She peered down, hands grasping yours, snuggling you with her touch, comforting you with just a simple interaction of carrying your hand, holding it in her lap. 

You waited patiently … Waited for her to answer, and when you thought you wouldn’t receive any response from her, you were laid out on the ground. 

Back sinking deeper, as if you were in water … like those dreams… what dreams? 

A weight sat on your waist … or your hips … You couldn’t tell, but her thighs were on either side of you, arms entrapping you where you lay, her hands by either side of your head…

She grinned down at you… A blue butterfly fluttering past.

“Who I am doesn’t matter. Enjoy the bliss while you can… It will set you free.” She breathed one last time, her voice still so foreign and unfamiliar… but her lips not so much.

It’s as if you knew them so well.

The way they danced with yours, opening your mouth so lightly, she felt like a ghost.

The way her breasts veered into yours, legs tightening around you. 

Your hands practiced what they preached … like with that girl from today … Yeah, you remembered, you just didn’t want to. 

You didn’t have to, not when your hands swept her blonde hair from hanging down so lost and unsure, you gathered it behind her, so you could see her face as she glided her hands over your chest, over the curves of your flesh. 

When you didn’t think this phantom could seduce you more, you were above her … between her legs. Kissing into her neck, kissing the inside of her thighs … then up and up. 

You made love to her… not like today, you actually fulfilled your hunger … your loneliness. 

Your desire for even a taste of love. 

This is what love must have felt like…

And by the time she was panting, moaning beneath you, all flesh and warmth, you swore you heard her whisper “Rachel” 

You would remember her as Rachel… The girl who lived in a field of white flowers, a girl who gave you love when maybe she didn’t have it herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> Thank you so much for reading! Hope you enjoy this little one-shot for Faith!   
> God I loved her character so much, so sad and tragic, beautiful but dangerous in a subdued way, like the bliss flowers! XD   
> Anywho, this was an idea I had for ages, I feel like although Rachel/Faith never really did find her purpose, she may have given others what she was looking for so badly, and I tried to convey that with this short fanfic!


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